http://humorfeed.com/story.php?title=apple-watch%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%9Cmasturbation%E2%80%9D-monitor-could-prove-embarrassing-%7C-the-barbed-wire CUPERTINO, CA (The Barbed Wire) - At Monday's Apple developers convention, a new function of the Apple Watch was announced that could let the world in on a dirty little secret - should the information ever go public. The Apple Watch, a device that will eventually perform so many functions and will know so much about us that it will become the closest thing to a deity that most people have ever known, will actually track and record a user’s masturbation schedule, frequency, intensity, and location. Wed, 10 Jun 2015 09:20:48 UTC en